The blue Hydrangea blossom - Different is good

“It is never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliott 

As I walked around our garden today, I paused by the Hydrangea. It sits at one side of the garden, near the gate from the road, so greeting visitors.

Right now is the height of summer and the Hydrangea is giving it’s all. 

Throwing everything into flowering.

Pretty much every bloom is showing. The least I can do is stop and enjoy it for a moment.

Our Hydrangea, unlike most, has for years almost exclusively produced pink blooms. So it is with some interest that I notice a beautiful blue head of flowers, right in the middle of the shrub. 

This strikes me as so different, so unusual, that I have to take a picture.

As I look at the plant (really, I’m only looking at the blue flower, but don’t tell the others) I consider the parallels with life.

Many, even most people try hard to fit in, not wanting to seem odd, different, or unusual.

Being different can be hard.

But abnormality is often worth it, for many reasons.

Difference is the way we describe the world.

Imagine that you see a clean, white sheet of A4 paper. On that paper is one small solitary dot. The dot is the difference on that sheet of otherwise immaculate white.

Now imagine you have to direct me to select a piece of paper from a group. You will likely say “pick that one, with the spot” or maybe “not the one with the mark on it”. Either way, you have used the difference to describe the world. It would be very unlikely that you would say “Pick the sheet of paper with ever so slightly less white”

Difference is how we evolved.

If it weren’t for genetic mutation (differences within the genome), evolution would not be possible. If every strand of DNA were to replicate itself perfectly, then no new species could have developed, natural selection could not have made choices about more or less suitability for our environment. We could not exist!

Difference prevents boredom.

My last argument for difference is a simple one. Who would want to exist in a world where nothing ever changed? Everything the same. That would be the most tiresome, repetitive, tedious struggle I can imagine.

Difference does mean that sometimes we have to accept the bad with the good. Everything in life has a down side, but this one is really worth it.

This choice can make you free.

If you choose to be different, suddenly you can choose to be whatever you want, to start building the person you would really like to become. It will take work. You will make mistakes, but being different will get you to a new you.

Enjoy the difference you see around you, try to be part of it. Revel in the unusual. Take in the strange. Learn.

Don’t be the person that someone else suggests.

Be different.

Make the change. Be the blue flower on the Hydrangea.
Live your way.

Dark Scribbler

Garden wall: Go beyond your barriers to be found

On the edge of our garden there is a wall.

This wall is made of concrete block. It has been there longer than we have and I suspect, will be there long after.

I used to think this wall was a good thing. Our garden is completely secluded. Our children play safely outside where we can watch them, but nobody else can.

The wall defines the edge of the garden, it protects the things I enjoy.

In our street, having a wall is unusual. All the other properties have grounds that extend to the edge of the pavement.

Some of our neighbours have picket fences, but all of the other houses in our street are visible from the road.

Except for ours.

As I said, I used to think this was just fine.

Then, one day a few years ago, my wife had ordered something from the internet and the delivery did not arrive. An email was sent and on the following day, despite reassurance, the delivery failed again. Finally, after my wife’s exasperated phone call to the delivery company detailing exactly how to find us the package arrived, two days late.

It would be easy to blame the delivery company.

However, in reality, we were expecting them to find us, despite the fact that our house and garden are completely hidden behind the wall. 

You could argue that it is their job to look for the delivery location, they are being paid to deliver, they should try harder, but that is not really how humans work, is it?

Actually, once the driver had been directed, once he had spoken to someone and made a human connection he had much more incentive than just a simple instruction on the delivery list he worked from.

We have learned from this experience

We now give a whole set of special instructions when we are expecting a delivery. We will, if we can, type in special directions at the point of order. Sometimes we will call or email the delivery company and occasionally we will phone the delivery driver directly. 

A parcel has not gone missing for ages now.

This can be very like our lives. In our lives we need others in order to make things happen. If we have a goal, we usually require something from someone else to achieve it.

Very often I would put up a barrier, just like the wall.

I used to think that a good defence would protect me. Or that if there was a barrier in the way of something, it must be there for a reason.

Actually, like the wall in our garden, I have learned to get around the barriers that block the way to what I want.

I have realised that I need other people.

People that can help me get to where I want to be, but because of my barriers they have not been able to find me. I still have more to do. 

Instead of just inviting people in, I think everyone should spend some time going out, beyond the metaphorical wall. We should all take trips to new lands and by doing so we may find something different. It may not be what we expected, but it will be new and exciting and we can learn and grow from it.

Remember to work your way around your barriers, get past your walls and live.

Dark Scribbler

Give up on fame, but don't give up.

Fame, what’s the point of aspiring to it?

There really isn’t any point in making an effort to be famous, just for the sake of fame.  The fame many of us will aspire to could actually be defined as a whole bunch of other stuff. Wealth, recognition, notoriety, preferential treatment, you get the point. None of these things are actually fame, but still we hope, dream and aspire toward a life more famous.

So what is fame?

Fame: “The state of being known by many people"

Well that was easy, the dictionary definition says it all, doesn’t it?

Hang on though, it doesn’t really explain why we, as rational humans, would want fame.

I believe that many people use the word fame to describe the collection of items I listed earlier: Wealth, recognition etc.

Once these trappings have been detached from the definition then surely we would have to conclude there is no point in aspiring to fame.

Except this is not what happens. It seems there is a constant stream of apparently thoughtful, intelligent, free-thinking adults who struggle to attain the illusive rank of "famous" on an unwritten scale of betterment.

On its own, fame has very little of measurable benefit to offer.

There is of course a clear explanation that supports the inner desire to be famous. It must stem from the need that most of us feel to be part of the greater group, in a team, defined and classified by wider society in a positive manner.

Everyone has at some point wanted to show their own level of self-improvement to a naysayer. To “teach a lesson” to somebody who deserves it. It's a natural response. This is what fame really is. When all else is stripped away, this behavior is what being famous is really about.

For a person to achieve fame they must often have had to work incredibly hard, to sacrifice or to suffer some hardship or humiliation. This behavior requires quite a high degree of determination, a good level of motivation. A level of motivation that likely comes from previous hardship or misfortune.

So instead of being jealous of the famous perhaps we should respect them, perhaps we should rejoice in the ability of the human spirit to drive us to absorb our misfortune and overcome our challenges.

Perhaps we should pity those who aspire to fame. Maybe we can educate them to aspire to true success, through application of learning, through consideration for others.

Wow, I’m positive today!

Dark Scribbler